I think, therefore I am.
No this isn't going to lead into a treatise on the short comings or the wisdom of the quote. I thought it was a good lead into this long anticipated blog! ;)
I sat through the Jaguars\Bills game this past weekend and came to a realization that I didn't love football as much as I used to. Maybe it was the fact that our tailgating is limited due to friends who didn't renew season tickets or that the game was quite hot or that the Jags are losing. I dismiss all of those and defer to the realization that my time is limited.
I have roughly 5 more years of my son living in my house (assuming he leaves for college.) After that another 5 years of my daughter. Soon it will be only my wife and I...well, I'm sure a dog plays into the scene. There is nothing, I am reminded, that you can keep.
Maybe turning 40 did have a covert affect on my world view: I did recently re-discover Thoreau. Maybe it was my son's realization that he has an artistic side he wants to investigate. I found that the values I held tight to in my 20's and early 30's vanished but have now bloomed. The Utilitarianism has faded somewhat for the sake of Hedonism. To clarify, the sense of duty has taken a back seat to the pleasure of Being. The wanting to surround myself with friends and family in an effort to establish memories...possibly a means of literary immortality.
I still embrace my son's football and my daughter's cheerleading. It isn't the event itself that I'm averse to. The thought of who I enjoy the moment with has become quite important. Sitting with my wife and my friends, Vic and Chuck, struck a chord that vibrated the question "you paid how much for this to spend these 6 hours with mostly strangers?"
Soon my friends and I will buy Rosetta Stone and learn some new language. I will soon begin teaching my children basic lawn and home maintenance. I want to continue to progress as a human, but I want to do it in the company of those I love. Not being alone is a privilege that I believe many take for granted.